this week is national suicide prevention week. 

i know there are millions of people who are affected by the word suicide. whether you’ve considered it, are considering it, have lost someone to it, or love someone who’s been on the edge, who is on the edge. or maybe you simply believe that this needs to stop. i am one of those people. 

my heart cries out for this. there needs to be less secrets and less silence and solitude, more loving and more shattering of stigmas and more reaching out and raising voices and understanding and believing that it’s okay to be feeling these wretched feelings and not only that but to say you feel those wretched feelings.

there might be shadows now. midnight shadows, 2am shadows so dark you can't see through them. but wait — wait — look…there’s a glimmer of hope piercing through the darkness. it promises to give you strength to fight the dark. it promises you are not alone. it promises you that you are more than the dark, more than the lies. the sun will rise and we will try again — we will live again, we will keep living. 

it doesn’t need to be something big and profound, it can be the smallest things. a good feeling, a new song or book or film, a smile or a hug or a single word from someone you love, a cup of tea, a lick on the nose from your pet.



could be something new every day. for me it’s so many different things. lots of little things, and the bigger things are -- my writing, wanting to create things, my family, my friends, wanting to love radically, to show people just how much they are worth, surges of contentment and grace and the feeling you get when you decide to simply stop surviving and live. 

because, see, there’s surviving, and then there’s living. and i think it’s important to remember that sometimes you need to survive before you learn what it really means to live. sometimes you need to go through the darkness before you reach the light. in fact, that’s almost always how it is. and once you reach the light, it seems all the more precious for the darkness that led you to it.

tonight i asked my dad to turn off the light in the backyard and we flung our heads back and saw millions of stars. we found cassiopeia, and that was cool because i don’t usually find constellations besides the big and little dippers. 

i’ve never wanted to stop breathing. but there’s a difference between glancing up and seeing the stars and thinking, oh, yeah, nice stars, and throwing your head back and feeling your heart swell in wonder at the majesty of it and trying to wrap your head around how huge and far away they all are and just simply not being able to comprehend it. i think that’s kind of like the difference between surviving and living. i think i learned a fair bit about that recently. and i know for all the tears, living is the best thing in the world.

tonight, every night, wherever you’re at, whatever you’re feeling, look up at the stars. they may be out full and bright, or they may be obscured by thick layers of clouds. but they’re always there. 

if you feel like you’re wrapped in thick clouds, you don’t have to stay there. wait for the stars — no, fight for the stars. try your hardest to see them. because. i promise you. they are there. don’t lose hope. you are not alone. don't go.

there is still some time.

~~

this is just something really important to me. 

and please - if you want - check out the links...especially the last two. it's worth it.