to my childhood best friend

1:02:00 PM

you have gone to the sea

i don't know when you left
or what it has been like

i may not ever know

and if i do

it will not be from you

you danced

and i cried

i cried because it was the last time

i would ever see you up there

i cried because it was beautiful

and because i was proud of you

i cried because the song

let me see a glimpse

of you
your soul

that i longed for

for so long
and because
it resonated with me
too
{i suppose the song
was a gift from you
a moment of connection
me in the dark seats
you alone in the pale blue lights}

but most of all

i cried

because it was you

and all we had

is past

it’s been four and a half years

since i knew your heart

in the darkness as it snowed

we were so young

and even though

we changed

and drifted towards adulthood

on different tracks

and even though

i latched on

to other souls

still i held on tight

to hoping something would change

mourning the loss

of childhood and secrets

and coded messages

lowered in a basket

held on tight

to wondering

why

wondering if you wondered

the same

wanting to know

your side

wanting you to know me

wanting to know you

but on the night you danced

i was not sad

it was a bittersweet kind of crying

because something in my heart

released you

so this is me

letting go of you

i don’t need all the answers

i can’t pretend it does not hurt

but not everything

is going to have a sad-turned-happy

ending

so i release you

because i would rather remember

the toy kitchen moments

the trampoline moments

with joy

you have gone to the sea

i would have never expected it of you

not in a million years

but thinking of it

i’ve always known

there is a quiet strength inside you

and a passion

for what you truly want to do

so

shine on

~

guyyss thank you SO much for each comment left on my posts. every time i read a new one i kind of sit there screaming silently with a big smile on my face. kind of reeling in disbelief still to hear such precious things about my writing.

6 comments

ElizabethOctober 6, 2016 at 1:45 PM
This one really got me to thinking... I was Facebook friends with my childhood bff some time ago. Even at the time we had not seen each other in years, but I was so excited to reconnect. It was not the same at all. She has changed so much, and truthfully, I had too. Eventually, we stopped talking again and I think I may have even unfriended her. Not to be rude, mind you, but some chapters are best left where they last finished. The memories are enough. I'm kinda inspired to write a creative poem/letter in her honor, now.

waltzandwillow.com
ReplyDelete
Replies
Cally DeclanOctober 6, 2016 at 1:58 PM
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. *sobsss* i love this song.

and this hurts way deep down because it's like everything i knew crumbled and it was time to let it go.
"but not everything
is going to have a sad-turned-happy
ending"
yes yes yes. i know. this hurts and i pray that i will rest in God's grace and that this broken heart will start to heal. change burns. wjaoijfowjalfewu
ReplyDelete
Replies
AbbieeOctober 11, 2016 at 2:20 PM
UGH THIS SMACKED MY HEART <3 HOW DO YOU DO IT ANDREA
ReplyDelete
Replies